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Ahh Those Were the Days

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I’ve never heard anyone say, “I’m glad things are more simple now than 5 years ago”. We just don’t say that. In fact, we talk of how simple things “used to be”. In my research on a new book, I came across an interesting concept called Entropy or the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics. There’s a lot of science behind it but essentially it says that: Things get more complex not less. We go from simplicity to complexity. We go from order to disorder. And we have been since the very beginning.

If this is true, then shouldn’t we EXPECT more uncertainty? Shouldn’t we be framing our mind to expect it and ACCEPT it? When we get up in the morning and get ready for the day, wouldn’t it help us to think that it IS going to be an unpredictable and crazy day? And if it does turn out to be true – doesn’t that make us feel somewhat better?

I believe that if we learn to understand that things WILL be more complex, more uncertain and increasingly unpredictable – if we can accept this then I believe we will be more comfortable and better prepared to handle it. Think about it. If you expect the worse and you don’t get the worse – doesn’t that make you feel like – “oh…that wasn’t so bad”? Or, “yeah – I knew it was going to be rough and sure enough, it was rough”. We’re not as surprised or shocked by it. I believe that if we get used to uncertainty then we may not be so anxious about uncertainty.

“Hope for the Best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We’re unrehearsed.”
— Mel Brooks

I also found a really interesting talk by David Christian, a historian who teaches a very cool new subject: BIG HISTORY. David and Bill Gates (yup THE Bill Gates) are taking this ” big history lesson” to high schools across the country…and around the world on their website. David illustrates that our universe has gone from perfect order illustrated by an egg to a bowl of mush (greater complexity).

Check out this fascinating video and slideshow at a TED talk of David Christian:

[wpvideo bQZZRhNP]

Entrepreneur:

“I don’t believe in business plans” [Rule #8: Trust in Yourself]

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I knew Sonam when she was a kid working at our family Dairy Queen store about 10 years ago.  Recently, I learned of her new business on Facebook through a friend and decided to stop by her bakery one rainy afternoon to pick up some treats for my kids.  It’s called Chocal8Kiss and it’s a brand new bakery/cafe located in Manalapan, NJ.  She embraced the chaos and opened in March and is busting her back and making it work…and loving every minute of it!

“I don’t really believe in business plans”, she said as I asked her about opening up a new business in this tough economy.  “I know that there is a demand for all kinds of cakes in this town – for weddings & birthdays.  Especially unique and specialty cakes.  And that’s what I love to do – to make cakes!”

What I find remarkable about Sonam’s story is that she’s 23 years old, has an infectious and positive personality and has just about enough energy to power a 747.  She saw an open store in a strip mall in a fairly growing upper middle class town, called the landlord, got the lease and two days later, signed it!  “If you over think it, you’ll never do it”, she said as she went about making a wedding cake due on the weekend.

While many of her peers who recently graduated from college are scared about the uncertain economy and trying to find a job – she goes out and opens a business!  Amazing!  Trained as a pastry chef at the Culinary Institute of America, Sonam worked at the Borgata Hotel & Casino in Atlantic City, NJ as a pastry chef and when she left that job, she did something not many young people do so willingly.  She stayed home with her parents to save money and started the business in her mom’s kitchen!  “Making cakes while living at home was not easy.  The kitchen was always a mess and I couldn’t fully do what I was trying to do.  After a while I couldn’t keep up with the demand so I had to make a choice.  I had to either quit this freelance cake business and get a full-time normal job or go all in and just do it.”

She doesn’t mind living at home with her parents even now because she spends most of her waking hours in the bakery.  And saving rent money allows her to re-invest back in her business to hire people and bring in new customers.  “I never stepped foot inside a bakery before I opened my own.  But I didn’t have to.  I know that I’m going to make this work.”  My final question to Sonam was about her friends.  She exclaimed with a big smile, “I try to surrounded myself with positive people who are doers.  We just do it”.

I love it!  Don’t over-think it.  Trust in Yourself.  Just do it. Congratulations Sonam and all the best of luck!

Get Out of the House to Deal With Uncertainty

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You can’t thrive in a new, more global world, if you don’t get out of the house and actually see it for yourself.  I met my friend Ben a few years ago.  He’s a successful entrepreneur who has created and sold businesses.  He lives in Manhattan and is a great example of someone who’s realized how important it is to say YES to new opportunities.

Ben has never been to India and doesn’t necessarily have a specific NEED to go there.  But he wanted to go.   Ben has a quiet but sincere curiosity about things.  He’s not afraid of asking questions about things he doesn’t understand.  He was interested in India and would ask me about my trips and experience there all the time.  It didn’t seem like it was enough.  He wanted to see for himself how the world’s largest democracy of 1.2 billion people is booming, how business is thriving, how people live, work and play.  He wanted to meet people and learn.  So in January of this year, a chance came to join a small group of business executives to travel to a global investors conference called, Vibrant Gujarat, Ben grabbed the opportunity.  Like most of us, he has day-to-day obligations to his work, his family and others.  But it seemed that he had something inside him aching to have a real experience in a booming emerging market like India.

Along with a handful of other business people from NY, Ben joined a tiny group [some pictured here with a giant statue of Gandhi in the center of the conference facilities] who set out to meet Indian business people and see what opportunities lie in India.  He spent a week in two major Indian cities – New Delhi and Ahmedabad.  He met lots of people in a business context and in a social environment.  He stayed in local hotels (some better than others), tried the local beer, ate the local food and had a great time.  Ben even got to meet with and sit and talk with the Chief Minister of the State of Gujarat (similar to Governor)!  That’s awesome!

Ben got to see with his own eyes what India is like.  To see and experience what others just read about in the newspaper.  And he is better off for it – so he tells me.  But he never would have gotten to experience any of that if he didn’t say YES to new opportunities.  He never would have gotten to travel the chaotic Indian roads, meet the locals and get a real feel for what’s going on in that country if he was comfortable.  He had to step a little out of his normal routine or his comfort zone.  He followed his curiosity.  He embraced the chaos by simply saying YES.

Get out and see the world.  See something new.  Move Forward!  Do something new.  Experience for yourself by saying YES and then get out of the house and do it…because now is the time and it is easier than ever!

3 Ways to Embrace Chaos@Work

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There is so much chaos at work these days.  People are living with so much stress and anxiety due to uncertainty at work.  Based on my own personal experience of living with chaos at work, I’ve come up with 3 ways to Embrace the Chaos at work:

1. Accept [Rule#1] that organizational change will happen more often and be more drastic.  People will move, leave, come in and evolve.  Products, businesses, services will launch, grow market share, spin-off, be acquired and lose market share.  It will happen and it is out of your control.  So why bother thinking about IF it will happen?  It WILL happen.  Expect it and Accept it.  That’s the way business is today.  Fast, competitive, always changing and global.  Things will not ‘settle’ down one bit.  Don’t wait for the “change is over, go back to work” memo!  It will not come.  As business grows, it becomes more complex and not LESS complex.  Why whine about it?  Accept it for what it is – a fact of life.  Embrace it.  You won’t be disappointed if you expect things to change all the time because you’ll be right.

2. Focus [Rule#6] on only the most important things you have to do that is in your control.  Be a craftsman.  Be the only one who actually reads the attachment on an email.  Do your job really, really well. Become the subject matter expert.  The best in the company, in the neighborhood, in the industry.  Be really good at what you’re supposed to be doing.  Nothing else.  There are so many distractions during the course of a day.  Meetings, teleconferences, off site retreats, txt messages, emails, competitor updates, etc.  So much of it can be a distraction that doesn’t add value to your job.  Ignore it!  Decline a meeting.  End a call earlier.  Block your calendar.  Ignore it all if you have to!  Just hone in like a laser.  Be the person everyone says, “Hey you gotta get her advice on this – she’s really good”.  Be that guy.  Be that girl.  That everyone respects for being really good at their job.

3. Go Deep [Rule #5,#7].  Ask really good, tough and penetrating but fair questions.  The right questions.  Not yes or no questions.  Because yes or no questions are useless.  Management has already made a decision.  The right questions to ask in a world of chaos at work are about HOW.  How to get it done.  How do we make this work?  How do we balance growth while lowering expenses?  How do we use the same resources to do more?  How do we hire the right person for this job?  How do we grow our business without alienating our current customers?  How do we fight global competitors without spending too much?  And to make it a tiny bit easier – Go deep on professional bonds with colleagues.  Get to know your colleagues and where they are coming from.  Ask them questions to really understand what they think.  Who they are and how they think.  Respect them by listening and building a collegial relationship.  They’ll respect you.  And you’ll accomplish more.

Celebrate Choice

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As a kid I always had to work on the Fourth of July at my parent’s Dairy Queen because a lot of our employees happen to call out ‘sick’ and it was usually very busy. So I never got to see the Fourth fireworks back then.

Nowadays, given that I no longer help out at the DQ as much, I’m a bit more free to appreciate this great American holiday.

And I really love this holiday more than any other. I love the Fourth of July because to me, it embodies what I think this country stands for. And that is the realization of the idea of Liberty. Like most I take liberty to mean freedom to pursue our dreams but I think for me it goes deeper.

On this Fourth of July, I would pose that as we celebrate America’s independence from England, we remind ourselves that no matter how bleak the outlook is for our economy or our ability to thrive in this global world, that we cherish the CHOICES we continue to have as Americans.

Think about it. We have more choices about where we want to work, how we want to work, where and how we choose to live and in which ways we want to educate our kids. From whatever lifestyle, type of job, area of business, or academic pursuit we wish to embark upon, we have boat loads of choices.

We can start a new business today in a day! From incorporating a new business on Legal Zoom.com to creating a website on Go Daddy.com to putting together an event with 50 of your Facebook friends to launch that new business. It is so much easier to do all of this today than it was 10 years ago. We don’t necessarily have these choices in other countries.

I believe that Choice is the secret sauce in our ability to embrace the chaotic world that we live in today. We can choose the way we think and the way we act each and everyday. We can choose to focus on the important things in life. We can choose to pursue whatever crazy business idea we want.

This Fourth, let’s celebrate our ability to have choice in so many parts of our life in this country more than any other place on earth.

Have a happy Fourth of July!

Face….Your Friends:

Rule #7

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Face to Face

I love Facebook.  I really do.  It is a great tool to do all sorts of things.  Sure I get to re-connect with friends I lost touch with years ago.  And I can see what all my friends are up to instantly.  And I get to go through pictures of their kids, their spouses, their recent adventures.  Don’t get me wrong – it is all great, awesome, incredible and a bit overwhelming.

But when it comes to a deeper meaning of friendship:  is hitting the “Like” button really the only way to carry on a friendship with someone?

It wasn’t that long ago that our ancestors and their tribes sat together around a fire in their village.  As soon as we could communicate, we got together to share our problems, our successes, our failures – to get to know what was going in the lives of our friends and family members.  For generations, we gathered in our villages, our places of worship and our homes so that we wouldn’t feel alone in this chaotic world.

Getting together with friends face to face made us feel better to know that we were not alone.  That our friends were experiencing the same uncertainties.  We shared laughter, sorrow and our deepest fears about the future.  But somehow, gathering around that fire – face to face – with our friends, we felt better.

We don’t do this anymore.  I get it.  We’re busy.  We’re all very busy.  But deep down inside, I bet that we’re itching to put how we really feel on that status bar in Facebook.  We want to connect and share our problems and aspirations with friends.  So that they can tell us that its ok.  So that they can encourage us to follow our path when everyone else tells us we’re crazy.  That whatever we make of this crazy time – that it’s not a big deal.

Meeting our friends, face to face, or talking real-time on the phone helps us embrace the chaos because we feel a little lighter.  We feel like we’re not alone.  We feel that our troubles are not as bad as we thought.  And we had a laugh too.  Let’s use Facebook or text messages to connect with someone and then make a promise to meet Face to Face.  To grab a coffee, a beer, a burger or a laugh.  Let’s use the technology to serve us better.  To pickup on friendships we left behind.  To help us figure out a career problem. Or to just shoot the breeze.  And all of a sudden, the world may not seem so chaotic anymore.

I Pledge…to Embrace the Chaos

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I Pledge to Embrace the Chaos

 

 

I pledge to Embrace the Chaos By Expecting and Accepting Chaos.  I Choose to Think and Act differently. I am Grateful and will make positive choices everyday. I will say Yes and Do new things. I will Put Purpose to Work, Be Present, Build Deeper Bonds and Trust Myself.  I will focus on the important things in life and expect nothing except that which emerges from my own choice –Bob Miglani

Feel free to use on Facebook!

 

The Abilities Expo…Rule#8

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We’ve always been a country full of optimists.  But over the last few years, as the rise of China and other emerging markets, it feels like we’ve been beat up.  Sure, we’re in a fragile economy and our governments both federal and local are in debt up to our eyeballs.  But I believe we are still the “Can-Do” country that millions have immigrated to for hundreds of years, including my family.

I saw evidence of this wonderful attitude that we Americans have in our DNA as I was driving down the highway and noticed the following billboard:

A sign for the Abilities Expo.  The Abilities Expo!  Not the conference for people with disabilities.  But the Abilities expo!  This is awesome!  I love this country because we believe in people.  In ourselves. No one can keep us down.  This is the secret sauce – the positive attitude – that turns the tsunami of challenges into new opportunities.  Our ability to find the good, the opportunity in the challenges.  To focus on the good stuff (Rule#8).

How Our Fathers Embraced the Chaos:

Rule#3

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No matter how many problems we faced growing up, our Dads just knew exactly what to say.  They knew exactly what to do.  And they were always right.  They’d say, “we were going to be just fine.”  And it made us feel better.

Our Dads worked hard, put us through school, played with us and even though we didn’t like it – took lots of pictures of us growing up (glad they did). It seemed like they could tell the future.  Because they just didn’t seem so worried about anything.  Nothing seemed to shake their unwavering confidence.

As a Dad myself today, I find myself filled with uncertainty at times.  Uncertainty about how I’m going to afford to educate my kids in this global world.  About the economy.  About careers and so on.  And I realized that my Dad probably didn’t have it all together as I thought.  And when I speak to him he tells me that sure, he was worried about a lot of things but he didn’t worry too much about things that were out of his control.  He thinks that we all “worry too much these days when life is a lot easier now than ever.”

The reality is that many of our Dads were just as uncertain about the future as the rest of us are today.  But they didn’t let the uncertain future ruin a good time that we were having today.  The terrific birthday parties we had or the countless times they drove us to the movies with our friends.  They were grateful for what we had and focused on giving us a great childhood.  Thanks Dad!

Start to Embrace the Chaos

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Stress is the new norm. The world is getting more complex, unpredictable and uncertain. And its happening faster than ever before. From managing our business and career, to raising our kids in a new uber competitive global world to trying to build relationships with friends and family – it all seems so much more chaotic. We’re living in chaos!

There’s hope: Embrace the Chaos.

I believe that we must first accept that things are not going to settle down one bit. In fact, according to the 2nd law of thermodynamics, things are going to get more chaotic. The universe was born out of order and since those 13 billion years, things get more complex, more chaotic – not less.

Second, we must realize that this in some way, we’ve always had unpredictability, uncertainty over our life. Think about it. Are you exactly where you planned to be? In your job? With the person you’re in a relationship with? In the house you planned on living in? Probably not.

Third, some of the best things come from living in a chaotic environment. You’ve likely landed your job that way. How did you meet your spouse or the person you’re with? Was it planned or was it a matter of chance or coincidence? How about the best idea you’ve ever had? Did it come from sitting in a cubicle or in the shower? Some of the best ideas and some of the best things in life happen in a chaotic place.

I believe that we are living in the best time ever! We have more choices available to us for careers, starting a business, finding a great place to live, to get educated, to grow and finding a significant other. This blog is about to be born with a simple but powerful concept: Embrace the Chaos.

Each week, I will write a simple blog about how you can Embrace the Chaos.

Thanks for reading!