Blog

How to Detox Your Mind:

4 Lessons I Learned to Stop Overthinking

7 Comments

We talk a lot these days about how to detox our body but not much about how to detox the mind. And it’s the overthinking mind full of chaos that holds us back from moving forward in life. It’s the overthinking mind that makes us feel anxious and worry about the future. It’s the overthinking mind that we need to better control in order to stop worrying and start living.

Over the last 10-12 months, I have experimented with a number of life changes – some were forced on me – others were choices I made. These changes have helped me detox my mind from all the overthinking about life and career that I was doing. Some things to remember: My goal here is to share what I’ve learned in my own life and what works for me, may not work for you.

4 lessons I learned on how to detox your mind from overthinking:

Lesson #1 on how to detox your mind to stop overthinking:

1. Stop consuming the news

I used to be a news junkie but over the last few years, I found that it caused me more stress than providing me with value. So, I stopped. I turned off the news. I stopped my daily ritual of reading the morning paper or surfing online for news. My consumption of ‘what’s going on around the world’ is now limited to once a week of going online to Reuters.com or to my Twitter feed.

Here’s the problem with consuming too much news: It causes our mind to think further and deeper about the topic that we read or hear about. Normally that’s not a bad thing, especially when we’re trying to understand the depth of something. But what I’ve observed is that my mind would burrow deeper into sometimes a worrisome place after hearing of all the uncertainty in the world around me.

Instead of exploring the possibilities and opportunities in life, reading about the uncertain nature of our world today caused me to start worrying and overthinking about my own future – my career, my relationships and my life. And there I stood: Stuck. Unable to move forward.

[Tweetable: By eliminating the news from the diet of my mind, I became more open to possibilities and opportunities in life. ] [Read more…]

6 Reasons Why Goals Are Important in Life Full of Uncertainty and Chaos

1 Comment

Nothing is predictable and we have more uncertainty than ever before.

“So, why should I bother setting or writing life goals when the world is so much more unpredictable?”, you may be asking yourself.

It can be easy to get skeptical about writing down life goals, especially when life has so much uncertainty and chaos these days.

We start to think, “Why bother?”, “What’s the point?”

From the unpredictable events happening around the world, in our jobs, our businesses, our lives to the uncertainty of the economy and our relationships, it’s easy to dismiss the whole of idea of writing down life goals as an exercise in futility.

While I understand that most of us know what we generally want out of life, we are not very specific about it, often leaving us to pursue a broad idea of “finding meaningful work, making more money, finding love, starting a business.” And we’re surprised when time flies by and we haven’t gotten anywhere.

In my own experience of learning to deal with uncertainty and chaos in life and at work, I have come to the conclusion that writing down very specific goals serves a very useful purpose, especially during times of great uncertainty.

Tweetable: “We’re more likely to get what we want out of life when we are crystal clear on what that is”

Goals don’t have to be money focused or career focused. It can be anything you want to achieve in life. [Read more…]

4 Reasons Why Action Trumps Overthinking:

Moving Forward in Life is Our Only Option

3 Comments

0001wqOne of the reasons we have a difficult time moving forward in life sometimes is this nagging voice of self-doubt in our head. Whispering nothing but debilitating thoughts into our subconscious, we get nervous about taking action and delay…and delay.  Until it’s too late.

As I reflect at my own experience of trying to deal with uncertainty in life, I realize that no matter how hard I think, some new surprise always comes out of nowhere, causing me to rethink all over again.

What I learned over these last few years is that my overthinking did not help me to ‘figure things out’.  In fact, it had the opposite effect of confusing me further when it was supposed to provide me clarity.

I believe we are all meant to be DOING not overthinking.  Sure, some sort of rationale thinking should always take place but our society today has become so risk averse about everything – from what restaurant we visit to the flights we choose to the person we marry – that we get lost in our overthinking mind which leads us to nowhere in life.  And time slips by faster than ever.

Tweetable: Moments of Self-Doubt Can Only be Replaced by Moments of Action

Here are 4 reasons why I believe action trumps overthinking: [Read more…]

4 LIFE Lessons I Learned by Starting a New Business in an Uncertain Economy

3 Comments

“In this economy?!” my wife and I thought to ourselves as we debated whether or not to open her new business in 2008.

After having our second child, my wife wanted to go back to work.  But not to just another job.  She wanted work that allowed her to have time with our kids and contribute her skills of being an Optometrist while building some equity.  We also wanted a Plan B…in case my career would encounter chaos.

Weighing all the pros and cons of starting a new business, we were stuck for a while, over thinking, over analyzing, writing a business plan in between sleepless nights with the kids and my travel schedule at work.

Then one day, she just did it!  She signed the lease to open her new business, an Optometry Eye Care practice with an Optical.  Six months of over thinking vanished just like that…poof!

Tweetable: Seeds of inner confidence start to bloom the moment you stop over thinking and start doing.

That was the summer of 2008.  Despite having a newborn in our lap, we moved forward with starting a new business in an uncertain economy.  Construction in Oct. 2008 and opened the doors in February 2009.

After 4 years, I realized that starting a new business in an uncertain economy has taught us both a lot about life…not just about how to start a new business but how to move forward in life despite not knowing how things will turn out especially when things look gloomy.

Here are 4 life lessons I learned helping my wife in starting a new business in an uncertain economy: [Read more…]

How to Get Unstuck in Life:

4 Lessons I Learned on Moving Forward in Uncertainty

22 Comments

All the negativity in the news media, the cold temperatures and dark skies outside, uncertainty at work and craziness in life can make anyone freeze.  You get nervous constantly thinking and analyzing what steps to take in life.  You make resolutions and give up because you say, “What’s the point?”, “Why should I even bother in all this unpredictable environment?”.  You feel stuck because you look around and just feel overwhelmed in all the chaos of life.

In my journey of learning to deal with uncertainty at work and the unpredictable and seemingly random nature of life, I used to worry all the time about the future.  Dealing with anxiety and stress due to uncertainty in life is hard because you feel like you have no control over anything in your life and it becomes a vicious cycle.  Causing you to freeze.  Paralyzed by over analysis of what I should do in my life, I felt stuck.  But over time, I broke through.  I got unstuck and began a journey that I’m still on.  And while I am not sure how it will go in the future, I feel so much better because I am unstuck and moving forward in life despite living in uncertainty.

Here are 4 lessons I learned on how to get unstuck in life: [Read more…]

Before Moving Forward in Life, You Have to Let Go of Old Baggage

2 Comments

 

“I can’t believe he did that to me.  He let me down.  I was wronged.  Yes, I deserve better.  I worked so hard for him and did all he asked of me.  Sacrificing so much.  Putting off my family to grow a career.  I travelled at the drop of a hat for him.  And all I got was gray hair and he got a sweet deal.”, a voice inside my head repeated over and over as I ran ever faster on the treadmill in the hotel gym yesterday morning.

I couldn’t believe it.  Inadvertantly, somewhere in the recesses of my mind, thoughts of an old boss surfaced as I exercised on the treadmill.  Every step I took on that machine became hard and more purposeful, as if I was punishing him by running faster.

I ran faster, feeling upset and plain old mad.  The feeling was so intense.  At some point, my legs couldn’t go much faster and along with the beads of sweat, I felt something fall from my eye and it wasn’t sweat.

It was probably the best workout of my life. But more importantly, I had this realization:

We carry around so much baggage without realizing it.   [Read more…]

Embrace the Chaos Life Manifesto:

3 Lessons on How to Deal with Uncertainty and Randomness

6 Comments

I spent the last few years trying to learn and understand this life experiment called, Embrace the Chaos, where I am learning how to move forward. Although you can never be certain of anything, I have attempted to write down some core beliefs and ways I am learning to deal with uncertainty in life and coping with uncertainty that allows me to live happier and more fulfilled.  Below is a summary of a “Manifesto” that I have developed based on my own personal experience.  I hope you find it useful.

Embrace the Chaos Manifesto

First, how do I define Chaos?

I define chaos as the uncertainty and unpredictability of life we are living in today.  From uncertainty in the economy, uncertainty in the workplace, uncertainty in our kid’s education and uncertainty in relationships, we see and hear about uncertainty everywhere!  We don’t know how to deal with uncertainty and unpredictability of events in our job, career, relationship, business or life.  This nagging feeling of not knowing what bad event is coming next causes us much anxiety, stress and tension.  It feels like we’re walking on egg shells all the time.

In a nutshell, I believe there are 4 forces of chaos in our lives: [Read more…]

12 Reasons to Embrace the Chaos and Move Forward in Life

8 Comments

“What’s the point?”, I sometimes ask myself.  It’s such an uncertain world out there.  I mean, “It all looks so bleak.  Why should I even bother to try to move forward in life or my career?  Why should I try to improve my circumstances when I don’t think it will lead to anywhere?

Why should I try anything in this crazy, uncertain, unpredictable and difficult environment?”

Over the last few years as I have worked through trying to deal with uncertainty of life, the unpredictability of a career, chaos at work and the complex nature of things, I have come to some realizations that have helped me to keep going and move forward in life.

For me, EMBRACE THE CHAOS means:  To ACCEPT the uncertainty of life and move forward anyway!  Take action despite not knowing how things will turn out.  

To stop over thinking, stop over analyzing, stop trying to predict.  To go ahead, take action, move forward in life, move forward in a new career, take new action, start a new business, get into a new relationship and stop over thinking whether or not it will work.

But self-doubt arises in all of us.  No matter how strong we might be, the question of WHY always comes up:  

Why should I embrace the chaos?

Here are my own reasons to get unstuck and move forward in life… [Read more…]

4 Ways to Kickstart a Positive Day

8 Comments

“Seriously?”, I thought to myself sarcastically as I read the morning paper riding the bus to work the other day.

I listened to talk radio on my phone and “Oh, boy” I thought again as I heard a commentator use the word, “uncertainty” about a dozen times. The more I read, listened and absorbed the news, the more anxious and stressed I became.

By the time I walked into work, I had fueled my morning anxiety just enough to turn the rest of the day into an awful one.  Surprise, surprise.

As I went through my day, I made a realization:

THE MIND WILL EAT WHATEVER YOU FEED IT.  

And I was feeding my mind a Big Mac for breakfast.  It looks harmless enough but you pay for it later in the day.  [Read more…]

6 Ways to Know You Had a Good Day

Leave a Comment

Sometimes we try to go to sleep and we can’t.  We wonder if our day was a good one.  I’ve wondered it a number of times hours on end.  I looked back at the times when I thought I had a really good day and made a realization…just as a child wants to repeat a wonderous experience again and again…I want that again and again.

So, Type A that I am…I made a list.  Below is a list of ways to know if you’ve had a good day.  This is my list and feel free to add, modify or share yours.

1. You fought the good fight

You gave your work real meaning.  You worked really hard at something you care about.  You dug deep down inside of yourself and brought that spark out to make something more valuable.  Not that it was asked from you but something you did on your own.  Steps however tiny were put one in front of another for a purpose, a cause or a meaning.  You didn’t just give it your best but something more than you thought you had.  You stopped thinking and started doing.  Obstacles became lessons learned.  Fears turned to experiences. Foes became friends. [Read more…]