Monday, January 21st, 2013

How to Get Unstuck in Life: 4 Lessons I Learned on Moving Forward in Uncertainty

Written by: Bob Miglani


All the negativity in the news media, the cold temperatures and dark skies outside, uncertainty at work and craziness in life can make anyone freeze.  You get nervous constantly thinking and analyzing what steps to take in life.  You make resolutions and give up because you say, “What’s the point?”, “Why should I even bother in all this unpredictable environment?”.  You feel stuck because you look around and just feel overwhelmed in all the chaos of life.

In my journey of learning to deal with uncertainty at work and the unpredictable and seemingly random nature of life, I used to worry all the time about the future.  Dealing with anxiety and stress due to uncertainty in life is hard because you feel like you have no control over anything in your life and it becomes a vicious cycle.  Causing you to freeze.  Paralyzed by over analysis of what I should do in my life, I felt stuck.  But over time, I broke through.  I got unstuck and began a journey that I’m still on.  And while I am not sure how it will go in the future, I feel so much better because I am unstuck and moving forward in life despite living in uncertainty.

Here are 4 lessons I learned on how to get unstuck in life:

How to get unstuck in life lesson #:

1. Take a Trip 

Getting out of the house and taking a trip anywhere helps to break things up a bit because instead of the mind spending time over thinking, the mind will be focused on the here and now.  Taking a trip however small can make you focus on the present and not worry about the future.  It can be as small as going out to a party to meet friends, to accept the invitation from a friend who moved to another state or another country or to attend a conference not for work but for personal growth.  Put a date on the calendar to travel to a new place for a new experience.

If you’re interested in switching careers, then find a seminar, a conference, a meeting or an event in your town, your state or in another state.  There are so many meetings, round tables, events or forums that are happening around the world on any given day and attending one can help you meet new and interesting people who give you a perspective on life.  Even your local public library or community college has various events ranging from wine making to blog writing to public speaking. These are awesome ways to get unstuck because you are no longer left in isolation of a hyperactive mind.

Taking a trip to a new place for a short adventure can breathe new life into your soul because human beings are meant to be breathing, living, interacting, engaging, sharing, laughing, talking, moving and doing.  You get a whole fresh perspective on life going out and seeing how the world lives, works and loves.  We’re not meant to be sitting around feeling stuck and trying to predict the future.

How to get unstuck in life lesson #:  

2. Try something new, however small

Have a new idea for a fresh new career?  Want to explore a new relationship?  Want to try a new business idea and not sure how it will go?  Try it.  Just go ahead and move forward.  Focus on the tangibles and the very specific actions you want to take every single day and simply do it.  When I first came up with this idea of “Embrace the Chaos”, it was a result of a trip I took with a friend.  But frankly I did not know where to begin. I was dealing with so much chaos at work and uncertainty in life that I just put off this “new” idea for months.  Then someone said, “why don’t you start a blog?”.  I had no idea of how to do it or where to begin.  But feeling stuck made me so anxious that I wouldn’t sleep for hours at night.  Then one night, I woke up in the middle of the night and spent 3 hours on the web trying to learn about blogging.  And in the last 10 minutes of those 3 hours, I registered the name embracethechaos.com using a registering service.  That was it.  That was my tiny, little triumph: I registered the name for a website.  It was easy to do but it took me a while to summon up the courage to do it.  And then over time, one tiny step, then another, then another, then another and eventually over time, you get momentum.

Momentum is one of the most powerful ways to success.  Tiny motions moving forward pro-actively create a snowball effect that has profound implications for getting unstuck in life.

It’s always the small things you do that can have the biggest impact in your life.  Want to know the science behind it? Look up: “The Butterfly Effect” in chaos theory.

How to get unstuck in life lesson #:  

3. Don’t get distracted by others

When you’re trying something new and aiming to get unstuck in life, people around you will ask, “Where are you headed with this new thing?”, “Where will it lead?”, “Where are you going with this idea?”, “Will you make any money?” “How do you know if this relationship will lead anywhere?”.

Critical questions about the reality of sustaining an idea or a relationship or a new business will often pop up in your mind and on the lips of a lot of people around you.  While they may not mean you any harm, this creates self-doubt and takes the steam out of you.  And you know what?  Acknowledge it.  Don’t ignore it.  Saying, “I DON’T KNOW” is perfectly fine.  It’s ok not to know because you’re trying to get unstuck, not trying to solve all of life’s problems.  Your goal is to get yourself grooving and moving forward again, not to solve the financial crisis of the world.  And the reality of life is that no one can predict the future, no matter how smart, saavy or successful they maybe in their own life, they cannot predict what your future holds.  And neither do you.  So, don’t get distracted by negative thoughts, comments or critiques even from yourself…just move forward recognizing that your goal is to get unstuck in life nothing more.

How to get unstuck in life lesson #:  

4. Surround yourself [your mind and your body] with positivity

Stop reading the newspaper, watching the news, surfing aimlessly on the internet.  For me, this was huge!  Receiving negative stimuli from the bad news, from toxic people and surfing the internet like a lost soul was a big contributor to feeling stuck in life.  Data, facts, trends, numbers and more information are often useless because so much of it is bias and conflicting.  If you really want to get unstuck, you’ve got to un-plug from the negativity that you’re receiving in your head.  It’s not helpful because it makes you doubt everything and everyone and every action.  It worsens your ability to get unstuck.  It hinders your growth and development.  And what can you do about all that stuff anyway?

I am a fairly reasonable person and never been a ‘ra-ra’ kind of cheerleader.  But what I discovered is that by surrounding myself with positive people, interesting and inspiring blogs, books and energizing videos from the masters of self-help, I was in such a better mood.  From attending services at your local place of worship to going to a reunion or a child’s birthday party can boost your energy and outlook inviting you to move forward in life.

Tweetable: Emotions, inspiration, encouragement, positive energy and plain old laughter can be big contributors in getting unstuck in life. Opening up your mind to positive thoughts and people in a universe of uncertainty allows you to feel encouraged and inspired because they are people just like you, trying to get through this crazy thing called life and if they can smile amidst challenging times, then so can you!

I believe that learning to get unstuck in life is not that difficult when you realize that you lose so much precious time over thinking about an uncertain future when you could be using that time to create a fulfilling present in the here and now.

Tweetable: Stop trying to predict what will happen tomorrow and start living today by moving forward and embracing the chaos!

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Go ahead…Embrace the Chaos!   |   Bob Miglani, Author

 

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17 Responses to “How to Get Unstuck in Life: 4 Lessons I Learned on Moving Forward in Uncertainty”

  1. Marsha K. Urton Says:

    Thanks for the encouragement and suggestions . I did smile and I am taking action now…..

  2. Bob Miglani Says:

    Thank you, Marsha! Keep on moving forward and smiling:)

  3. Joanne Says:

    Thanks. I like your approach to life. One and four are big ones for me. Getting in the right mindset makes all the difference.

  4. Bob Miglani Says:

    Thanks for writing, Joanne. I value your comment. It really is about the mindset indeed!
    Best,
    Bob

  5. Annette Says:

    Thank you so much for your blogs! They are wonderful and this is great advice for a person like me who is a bit stuck right now.

  6. Bob Miglani Says:

    Dear Annette,
    Thank you for writing as I really appreciate your comments.
    Have a great day!
    Bob

  7. Rosemary James Says:

    I saw an ad for your blog on my Face Book home page. It caught my eye and i had to read more! I have been STUCK for the past year. My life has gone in a direction I never thought it would. Thank you for sharing your personal experience and the ways in which you became unstuck.

  8. Bob Miglani Says:

    Thank you for writing, Rosemary. You are not alone…for sure. Glad to have you join our conversation and I would value your perspectives!

    best,
    Bob

  9. Suzy Says:

    All I remember seeing on the sidebar on fb was, “Embracing the Chaos”, and something about getting “Unstuck”. I knew I had to go to your site and start reading right away because that’s exactly where I have been for the past two years, stuck. Not living but just existing in this crazy world we live in. After reading the 4 lessons in “How To Get Unstuck In Life”, I felt like I was reading a story about me. I can’t thank you enough because you have totally motivated me to do something, to not be stuck anymore, to stop worrying over things that haven’t even happened yet. I am about to print out the 4 lessons just to remind myself everyday that I need to be doing something, anything to keep me moving forward. This was so awesome, thank you so much for writing this because now I feel like I can make it without being afraid of what’s ahead or just sitting idle and over thinking about nothing. I am so looking forward to reading so much more of your blogs, for once I feel like I have something to look forward to, something to help me to live life again, a normal life without anxiety, fears and the ability to move forward and never look back!

  10. Bob Miglani Says:

    Hi Suzy,

    Thank you so much for writing as your kind words help me keep going too! I’m delighted that what I think and write is valuable to you. Keep on moving forward:)

    best wishes,
    Bob

  11. Shawn Sigl Says:

    I really needed this and thank you, however much easier said than done! after taking risks and moving in so many directions in my life, I am not only stuck, but afraid of failure.. at 46 years old. I feel much older and have given up on the life I had dreampt so long about. Sorry for being a Debbie downer! :)

  12. Bob Miglani Says:

    Shawn,
    Thanks for writing and sharing. I have been there. Believe me…you are so right…easier said than done. It is not EASY by any means and it is a constant struggle but I’m learning to feel better. And training myself to do so…by just trying and keep on keeping on. Surrounding myself with positive thoughts and people that seep into my mind. And it becomes infectious. You have to force the mind to Accept, Stop Over Thinking and Start Living. Don’t make it any more complicated than that. Remember, failure is a stepping stone to greatness so start stepping!
    all the best,
    Bob

  13. judith Says:

    I also love to move forward. Thank you so much for your motivation.

  14. Bob Miglani Says:

    Judith,

    Thank you for writing. Would love to hear more from how you are moving forward. Others may find it very useful and interesting. Keep us all…moving forward!

    Bob

  15. Stella King Says:

    I just simply stopped embracing all the negativity in my life , at seventy I just went to a shoemaking school in Arizona , made my first pair and wore them home -I have always wanted to design and make shoes, then I saw your book , what a great way to stop thinking about it and start doing , it’s the act of movement I think —Stella

  16. Bob Miglani Says:

    Thanks, Stella. Delighted to hear that you’re taking a new direction in your life. Shoes…very cool indeed! I hope you like the book.
    Best wishes and much success!
    Bob

  17. Ludmila Says:

    Very helpful and inspirational article, thank you !

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